Anxiety And Seven Ways I Deal With It

 

Anxiety is something so many of us deal with. Sometimes we worry if we said too little or too much. What could we have said? Did we say the right thing? What even is the right thing? Was it my fault? Am I to blame? What If I did this instead? Would it have changed the outcome?

We get so anxious and begin to overthink every life decision we ever made. If I am anxious about something it can be really obvious because I start rambling and may even say out loud what I am thinking. However, that is because I am a naturally open person and I don’t have much of a filter. But so many of us never really address exactly why we have anxiety or what it is we are anxious about. Some of us might be embarrassed or just don’t know how to express ourselves. There is no need to be embarrassed about having anxiety. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA), “Anxiety disorders are the most common illness in the U.S affecting over 40 million adults in the United States, age 18 and older.”

Even if you aren’t a naturally anxious person, chances are you still experience anxiety sometimes. It’s a normal reaction to things in life whether it be because of a test, a first date, waiting to hear back about a job, financial problems, waiting on a text, and yes how many likes you got on your Instagram post. Obsessing about how many likes and comments we get on social media is something I plan to delve deeper into, but feeling accepted on social media is something I will address on a later post. 

Anxiety is actually a very common thing that many people deal with in their everyday lives. Some people have it more extreme than others and it may affect their everyday routines. In those cases, I believe it is helpful to speak to someone and to find something you love that you can channel your anxiety into. If your anxiety is caused by a traumatic event in your life then please do not try to repress it. Repressing bad memories will only make things worse. Believe me, I have been there and I have close friends who have too. The best thing to do is to confront it and talk about the event no matter how hard it might be. For more severe cases, there is medication that can be prescribed and no one should feel ashamed about that.

There are so many different forms of anxiety such as post-traumatic stress disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, numerous phobias, social anxiety, and so forth. Some people don’t even realize how much their anxiety affects their everyday decisions and behaviors. If you find yourself constantly jumping into unhealthy relationships, have low self-esteem due to being overwhelmed by tasks at work or school, are afraid to be in social settings due to various scenarios in your head, turn to alcohol or drugs to calm yourself down or are constantly questioning yourself…then you may want to take a step back and think about why you are feeling the way you are and how you can respond in a way that does not make you more anxious than you already are. Responding to your anxiety in an unhealthy way only makes things worse when you should be trying to make things better. It is the same with stress and depression. People who feel overwhelmed are more prone to these behaviors and the pressures from society to be “perfect” do not make it any easier. Below, you will see a list of more efficient ways to deal with anxiety.

I consider myself an anxious person but more so in the way that I overthink situations and constantly question myself like most of us do. Instead of staring at your phones all day as you wait in anticipation for a text or instead of over practicing a routine for your tryout, you should find something else to focus your time on. For me, writing is what helps me get out my anxiety (surprise, surprise!!). For you, it may be going to the gym, learning a new recipe, or simply just surrounding yourself with friends to distract you. It is the healthiest way to deal with anxiety and other things, such as depression and stress. When you do something that makes you happy, you forget about everything else even if it is for just a moment and that helps for a healthier and more positive you!!

7 things I do to deal with anxiety:

  •  IDENTIFYING TRIGGERS: To me this is the most important part of dealing with anxiety. Sometimes the trigger is easily identifiable and is something silly like I mentioned above (waiting on a text, etc.). However, if you can’t identify the problem, it makes it so much harder to deal with it. You need to write down anything and everything that has ever bothered you (at least this helps me understand what caused my anxiety). Sometimes the things that trigger us are what we least expect. An issue that has been repressed in the back of your mind may set off an anxiety attack. Maybe it is something you never told anyone about. Think about what was bothering you that day you suddenly got anxious. Once you identify what triggered your anxiety, you can come up with more specific measures to deal with the problem.

 

  • SLEEP: If I can, I try to get enough sleep. Try to get at least eight hours of sleep if you can or set aside a twenty-minute nap during the day. But what happens if you are dealing with sleep anxiety or are prone to anxiety attacks? Then what? Well, I am someone who has suffered from anxiety attacks after going through traumatic events (loss of a friend, bad car accident, etc.). This is when I try to focus on my breathing and concentrate on taking deep breaths to calm me down. I then will make myself a sleepy time tea to get me in the mood to sleep. Sometimes I will play some relaxing music to ease my mind.

 

  • EXERCISE: This is something that is proven to be healthy physically and mentally. It can help to get out all of your frustration and clear your head.

 

  • PARTAKING IN A HOBBY I ENJOY: For me this may be writing or performing on stage. Like I mentioned before, not everyone enjoys the same things so your hobby might be reading, playing basketball, or playing guitar, etc.

 

 

  • STAY AWAY FROM TECHNOLOGY: When I am anxious I try to take a mental break from my phone, from television, and my computer. Sometimes when I am anxious I fall back into the trap of overthinking things and we both know Google and social media can only make things worse. Before you know it, you will start googling things like “Why am I anxious?” “Could ___ be causing my anxiety?” If anything, you are going to make yourself more anxious from the answers that you might see and more often than not you are going to convince yourself you have some rare disease. Google might tell you something you don’t want to hear and that is the last thing an anxious person needs to read. I also find that social media overwhelms me when I am anxious. Instead, if you want to socialize with people while your anxious, talk to a good friend about it that will help you calm down. Real interactions are always better during times like these (Just make sure the person you are talking to won’t judge you or make you feel bad about your anxiety. Make sure it is someone you can trust). I am a good secret keeper so if any of you want to shoot me an email, visit my contact page and I would be happy to listen and give you some advice specific to your situation!!

 

  • TAKE A WARM BATH: Hot showers are nice and all but nothing soothes me more than a nice bubble bath! I set the tone by dimming the lights, playing some peaceful music, lighting some candles, putting on a face mask, and of course filling my bathtub with bubbles and a relaxing bath bomb! If I’m feeling really fancy I will have a glass of wine with me too. What is more relaxing than that?!

 

What are some things you guys do to deal with anxiety? Do you have any tips? If so, comment below!

You Are Enough

Below is a poem I wrote in high school. Read further down to see what I have learned since writing this. Accept yourself for all that you are…I promise that you are enough. 

I am a monster,

Maybe not the type that little kids think are under their bed,

Or the kind that does evil things,

But the kind that self-destructs.

I constantly beat myself up with negative thoughts,

The ones that leave you with a pounding headache,

And leave you in a puddle of your own self-weep,

The ones that keep you from sleeping at night.

I tell myself I am not good enough,

Torturing myself every chance I get,

Letting all the negative energy slip right into my skull,

Releasing all the good left in me.

 

What I’ve learned since writing this…

We all tend to be our own worst enemies. We are always concerned with what other people think of us because we assume that they are already judging us. More often than not, the only person judging you is yourself. And if other people are judging you than they are either jealous or are tearing you down to make them feel better about themselves because of their own insecurities…so in actuality, you should be feeling bad for those people. Those are the people who are the unhappiest with themselves. The people who put other people down to make themselves feel better have more issues than you and probably need some help of their own.

So in reality, it makes me laugh when I see someone judging another person because that person who is judging is trying to come off as the dominant, strong one when in fact they are nothing but weak. A strong person can be someone who has just as many insecurities but sees another person and admires their beauty, their confidence, and their talents. In my opinion, that is the definition of a strong person because even if they are not happy with themselves, they will not take down another person just to make him or herself feel better.

Instead, a strong person will praise someone else’s success and want to watch them keep learning, growing, and succeeding despite whatever is going on in their own life. Be that kind of person. And stop beating yourself up because your biggest enemy is you. You need to stop tearing yourself down and you need to start building yourself up. And for those of you tearing other people down to make yourself feel better, stop for a minute and think about how weak a move that really is.

Rather than tearing that person down, build that person up just like you would want someone to do for you. STOP being the monster you see in your head. START being the person you want to be. Don’t let other people get in your head. Don’t let the fear of what other people think of you ruin the perception of yourself. You’re better than that. Be the strong person I know you are.

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Disappointment

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Living in a generation where disappointment is much too common is a very unsettling thing.

The word disappointment creeps over us like dawn creeps on those who are unable to sleep at night.

It burns us from within, melting our insides.

There is no way to stop the fire from spreading as the flames feed hungrily on our minds and eat at our bones.

It’s that queasy feeling you get in your stomach after hearing that some boy was just using you to get a stupid favor.

It’s that moment when you realize who your true friends are.

What you once thought was a rainbow is now a cloud of dust as you see someone’s true colors begin to unfold.

It’s an anchor holding you down on the ocean floor, leaving you to drown and squabble for air as you realize you were the one to blame for your sorrow.

 

You have no control over disappointment because it is something that we do not expect.

We can disappoint ourselves just as well as anyone else can disappoint us. Whether we accidentally disappoint ourselves, or someone disappoints us, disappointment is a bitter feeling.

It happens suddenly and in a flash before you can even register the harm that has been done to your hopeless little body and mind.

 

Disappointment distorts us and makes us fear the unknown,

but the unknown is one of the most beautiful things in the world.

If only we could learn to see it that way.

The unknown is full of secrets, mystery, adventure, and yes, disappointment…

but that is what makes life worthwhile.

 

The unknown is our experiences that are yet to come.

Some may be good, some may be bad,

but that is the magic of the unknown.

We mustn’t fear the unknown.

Instead we must dive into it head on and be willing to take risks.

Because sometimes, disappointment simply arises from within by the lack of stepping out of our comfort zone and going after what we want.

You might try something and fail at it, which leaves you disappointed.

But if you do not try something you want to, then you are still left disappointed because you aren’t pursuing what you want.

Either way, you may be left disappointed so why not go after what you want?

 

Don’t be disappointed because you failed.

Instead, you should be disappointed only if you don’t try.

Failure is a part of learning and helps us to grow into stronger beings.

Don’t be afraid of it.

Chase after the unknown, embrace it, and simply learn from what is to come.

 

Disappointment is a part of life.

Sometimes the things we go through that leave us disappointed make us better people – more passionate, more caring. We may view things or people differently and change our ways for the better.

So, in fact, disappointment is a beautiful thing.
It is one of the few things that can help shape us into the people we are.

If we view it as a positive thing, we can only grow from the disappointment.

It’s about turning negative situations into positive situations.

It’s all about perspective, and I hope that you channel all the disappointment in your life into something beautiful.

Loving Yourself

People say falling in love is hard these days. Our generation is so messed up, which leave us with low expectations and trust issues. But what I’ve come to realize is that the hardest thing to fall in love with is yourself.

We are all constantly trying to mold ourselves into this pretty picture that society has created but it’s unrealistic. We are all different and beautiful in our own ways. So why try to change that? Why should we allow people to set the standard for beauty, for success, for love, etc.? Beauty is different to everyone. Success is different to everyone. And love is different to everyone. So why does society make us think we have to have the same views on every single thing?

By allowing ourselves to conform to societies views and false expectations, we allow ourselves to become so small and we let the world take control of our lives. But we should be taking control of the world. We are in control of our own destinies, morals, and values. Therefore, we should not allow society, a person, or a bad experience change that for us. We all have a purpose on this planet so life is too short to focus on the petty things. We are extraordinary beings. We are capable of too much to allow ourselves to get lost in the armpit of societies false claims. We are so powerful and we don’t even realize it sometimes.

We can feel so many different things with our minds and with our bodies. It’s both a beautiful and ugly thing. It’s beautiful in the way that we feel love and warmth, and can reminisce on our adventures and great experiences. It’s ugly in the way that we can feel all of these things and that we can lose them just as easily with the spark of a negative thought. When love is good, it’s really good. And when a love is bad, it’s really bad. It can be good when you love something so much it becomes your career or in the way that you find your true love. It can be bad in the way that when a love for your job becomes your only love and takes over your life. It can also be bad if you become too dependent on someone you love who eventually leaves you heartbroken. Even reminiscing on great experiences and adventures can turn ugly if you are in a bad place and make yourself believe you will never be as happy as you once were.

We are such vulnerable human beings and that’s okay. But ultimately we are the only ones responsible for picking ourselves back up because we are the only ones that can control the thoughts in our mind and change the negative to a positive. This is why we must love ourselves. It’s the most important part of our existence. If we don’t love ourselves, how can we expect other people to love us? It is something we hear all the time but it is true. We need to drive our emotions and feelings no matter the situation.

“Perfect” is simply just a word that someone made up. No one is perfect but we can be our own kind of perfect. By this I mean we learn to truly understand and love ourselves. If you constantly think and strive for the best then you are being as perfect as you can be. By staying true to yourself and others, creating only room for positive thoughts and people in your life, and by falling in love with yourself –you have reached your highest point of your own perfect being. If you can do all of these things then congratulations- you are learning to fall in love with yourself and the world leaves with you endless opportunities at your feet! Jump on those opportunities, allow yourself to truly live in the moment and feel them. Stop thinking what if and DO IT. You never know unless you follow your heart. Stop living in fear of your own thoughts, society, and bad experiences. Instead, create new positive thoughts, new experiences, and create the kind of society you wish to see in your mind. It will be amazing when you see how many good, new things you can attract with a positive mindset.

Falling in love with yourself may not be easy and for many will take a lot of time. I’m still on my journey from caterpillar to butterfly. But I promise that once you do fall in love with yourself, it’ll be the most magical thing to happen to your existence. Because once you fall in love with yourself, you can do anything you put your mind to. Once you fall in love with yourself, you won’t care what other people think. Once you fall in love with yourself, you can take control of the world. But most importantly once you fall in love with yourself, you can take control of your own life. Once you do that, the world is truly your oyster.

Start the trend.

Speak your mind.

Spread the positivity.

And love yourself endlessly.

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