They Say Time Heals Wounds

 

They say time heals wounds,

But I still feel so blue,

You were my best friend,

The only one to turn to.

 

Now a year has gone by,

And I still can’t sleep,

The hole in my heart,

Is just too deep.

 

You remain on my mind,

Each and every day,

Laying in silence,

With the memories on replay.

 

I scream with anger,

As I scratch at my skin,

Why did he do that?

Why did he let the demons win?

 

I miss him so much,

I don’t know what to do,

So I bang at the walls,

Telling myself it’s not true.

 

I feel my stomach quiver,

And my heart begins to break,

My insides turn to poison,

As if I were bitten by a snake.

 

The poison spreads,

And kills me inside,

So I close my eyes,

And pretend you’re by my side.

 

I want to change the past,

But there is nothing I can do,

You’re an angel of heaven now,

In time, I will see you.

 

Words Heal

Don’t you worry darling,

The pain will subside,

In your mind,

There’s a war inside.

 

You’re at battle with yourself,

You feel you are to blame,

For the way you’ve been treated,

And it’s truly such a shame.

 

For you are magnificent,

Light seeps through your pores,

But you don’t realize it,

So you search for yourself in bookstores.

 

Flipping through each book,

The aisles become your stage,

As you dance around them so beautifully,

And sing the words on each page.

 

She sings so gracefully,

The words that eat at her whole,

But there’s truth behind the words,

So she belts them from her heart and soul.

 

For someone understands,

Exactly what she feels,

An author is an underrated hero,

Words truly do heal.

 

-Reminder: When things don’t seem to go right, a good book can always bind you back together

Rosé Mansion NYC: Drink Rosé All Day And Look Your Best Doing It

When I first heard about the Rosé Mansion pop-up exhibit in NYC, my first thought was to call one of my rosé loving besties and reserve our tickets for the next day. When it comes to drinking rosé all day we do not fool around so we booked our tickets and were on our way!

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My first question was, “How many different rosé tastings will there be?!”

To answer that question, we got to try 8 delicious rosés from all around the world! Plus you get to blend your own rosé! What’s cooler than that?! Safe to say, my perfect blend definitely matched my personality. It was light and sweet but also bold and zesty. My unique blend of palatable pink goodness danced on my tongue so beautifully.

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Can we just take a look at this Rosé fountain for a minute? This is what a rosé lovers dreams are made of.

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I love all things glitter so these are my type of champagne bottles. They even have angel wings! Am I in heaven??

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My second question was, “What do I wear?!”

Anyone who knows me knows this is probably the most important question before attending any day-to-day activity or event. For those of you who already know about the Rosé Mansion, you know it’s an Insta Queens dream. For those of you just learning about it through my blog post, I am sure you can tell from all of my pictures that each backdrop is completely Insta worthy.

So what did I do in preparation to pick the perfect outfit? I did my research to see what some of the rooms looked like so that I would match most of the backdrops. I know what some of you are thinking…”Only you Christina, you are so high maintenance”. Some may call it high maintenance but I call it dressing to impress. Being a diva is not always a bad thing when you just want to look your best! My fellow fashion lovers I know you understand me. Outfit details and suggestions on what to wear are posted below.

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Fun fact: I actually met a couple other bloggers in this room and they were looking all fierce with their legs sprawled across the bathtub. Meanwhile, here I am and I barely fill up half the tub. The only thing people were calling me was adorable…4’11 probs.

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But hey, I was the only person able to lay across the tiny swing!

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Here is a little slideshow of me after clearly listening to too much Sia and swinging from a chandelier.

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Peep my bestie!!

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I heard it through the grapevine…

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Livin’ large babyyy

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This was one of my favorite parts of the rosé tasting. You get to try a sweet rosé alongside rosé gummy bears! When you try both together it tastes absolutely delicious. Behind the cart is a scratch and sniff rosé wall, which made for a fun and interactive experience!

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At the end of the tasting, I discovered that this is my new favorite rosé! It is light and fruity with watermelon, strawberry, and raspberry undertones…yum!!

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My Outfit Details:

Dress: Aqua Floral Print Strapless Dress (It is on sale now for $61.60 and was originally $88)

Denim Jacket: Express

Glasses: Prada

Crossbody: Navy leather bag from Florence, Italy but it looks just like a Stella McCartney!!

Heels: Jessica Simpson

*The pink glasses were a prop they had there so get those obnoxious shades on and work it girl!!

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Sundresses are my favorite thing to wear in the summer. However, everyone was wearing something different so you can’t really go wrong with anything! If you want to match the theme, I recommend wearing something with pinks and purples in it. Whether girls were sporting dresses, shorts, or jeans- most were pairing a hot pink top or accessory with their outfit. If you think that’s too much pink then a pop of pink like I am wearing goes a long way! And yes…I matched my lipstick to my dress and the theme. I am wearing Rebel from Mac on my lips, which is a really pretty deep magenta. Here are some cute suggestions I have for you that I found online. If you are planning on going to the Rosé Mansion and are struggling with what to wear then hopefully these cute little finds will help!

Forever21:

Pink Striped Cutout Maxi Dress

Pink Striped Lettuce-Edge Mini Dress

Blush Plunging Floral Print Dress

Fuchsia Contemporary V-Neck Cami

Pink Surplice Cami Top

Fuchsia Contemporary Satin Mock Top

Fashionnova:

Annette Set- Hot Pink

Got My Heart Eyes Sunglasses- Pink

Lets Get To it Denim Jacket- Pink

Stolen Kisses Ruffle Dress- Pink

Nordstrom:

Fraiche by J Print Long Sleeve Romper

Free People:

Acai Berry Silver Line Cami

Antique Combo Love To Love You Midi Dress

Rose Bud Gretta Mini Dress

You can also check out Etsy for rosé themed shirts!

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So what are you waiting for?! The Rosé Mansion is open until October so get your tickets while you can! You can buy your tickets here: https://www.rosewinemansion.com/

Learn about the history of rosé as you try different kinds from around the world and take as many pictures as your little heart desires!

Glass Heart

My mom once told me that when I was three this woman whispered to her, “Your daughter is an old soul, just like that painting on the wall. She’s going to be a healer and bring color to other peoples lives.”
My mom didn’t know what that meant at the time, but perhaps she was spiritual because now I’m twenty-two years old and this random woman that approached my mom couldn’t be more right about me.
I’ve spent years trying to heal other people,
That sometimes I forget to heal myself, take care of myself and appreciate myself as I do others.
I’ve spent years attempting to mend wounded hearts and broken souls in hopes to repair damage from unfortunate events in others’ lives that I couldn’t control.
As much as I wanted to fix it, there was nothing more I could do besides be a good friend.
For once glass breaks, you can try your best to glue the pieces back together but it will always be cracked.
You can’t fix something that is broken but you can try to put the pieces back together and fill the cracks with life lessons and hope that things will get better.
A shattered heart is stronger than one that has never been broken.
If you hold your head high enough and grow from tragedy, then the cracks will fade but they will still be there to remind you that you beat something you once didn’t think you could.
Our hearts are like glass.
We have these beautiful fragile organs that beat from the insides of our chest.
They can become easily fractured, yet they can also make our smiles glisten when things begin to go right.
Pretty wild isn’t it?
How glass can cut you like an axe taking down a helpless tree
but also act as a reflection of all that you’ve overcome.
Remember, our hearts aren’t shatter proof and without all those cracks from tragedy…how would the light seep in when the darkness starts to clear?

 

(Featured image by Sherrybookirk)

Water Your Soul

I encourage every single person to read this poem I wrote because it is relatable in many different ways. This is an important reminder to love yourself as much as you would another person because you are pretty damn special all on your own 

Water Your Soul

We are too busy trying to mold other people into what we hope they’ll become
And not focused enough on molding ourselves into the people we want to be.
Imagine what it would be like to love yourself as much as you love someone else.
Imagine knowing all that you’re worth.
Mold yourself into the queen that you are.
Some people don’t deserve your hands.
Don’t try to mold someone into something better with your precious fingers when they don’t appreciate your big heart and sparkly soul.
Don’t shower someone in your glitter
When they shower you in their dust.
Don’t share those special pieces of you
When all they give you is nothing but dirt.
People will plant little seeds in your mind.
These people will tell you they miss you and they love you
But the flowers will never blossom.
You’re at a standstill.
By letting his toxic energy in, you allow yourself no room for growth.
Yet you wait and wait on something tremendous to unfold and bloom in front of your eyes.
But you’re a daisy, you radiate sunshine
And he’s nothing but weeds pulling at your skin,
Wasting your time,
Mesmerizing you with nothing but lies.
My sweet girl, stop looking outside waiting on the flowers to bloom.
Most people don’t change.
And they won’t unless they want to.
They’ll keep feeding you pretty lies just to get under you.
They’ll keep planting these seeds in your mind and you’ll keep watching for a love to grow that was never even there in the first place.
Plant your own seeds sweet girl and watch yourself bloom.

-Don’t water weeds, water your soul

My Favorite Mascaras

Hey everyone! Sorry I have not posted in awhile. I have been really busy since graduating. I have some exciting news though! I finally got a new camera and created a YouTube channel, caterpillartobutterfly so I have embedded my latest video below! This post is about my favorite mascaras at the moment. The MILK mascara was sent to me for free for testing purposes by Influenster. Hope you like it and don’t forget to subscribe to my new channel 😉

To watch the video in fullscreen, scroll over where it says youtube and click “watch on youtube.”

Anxiety And Seven Ways I Deal With It

 

Anxiety is something so many of us deal with. Sometimes we worry if we said too little or too much. What could we have said? Did we say the right thing? What even is the right thing? Was it my fault? Am I to blame? What If I did this instead? Would it have changed the outcome?

We get so anxious and begin to overthink every life decision we ever made. If I am anxious about something it can be really obvious because I start rambling and may even say out loud what I am thinking. However, that is because I am a naturally open person and I don’t have much of a filter. But so many of us never really address exactly why we have anxiety or what it is we are anxious about. Some of us might be embarrassed or just don’t know how to express ourselves. There is no need to be embarrassed about having anxiety. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA), “Anxiety disorders are the most common illness in the U.S affecting over 40 million adults in the United States, age 18 and older.”

Even if you aren’t a naturally anxious person, chances are you still experience anxiety sometimes. It’s a normal reaction to things in life whether it be because of a test, a first date, waiting to hear back about a job, financial problems, waiting on a text, and yes how many likes you got on your Instagram post. Obsessing about how many likes and comments we get on social media is something I plan to delve deeper into, but feeling accepted on social media is something I will address on a later post. 

Anxiety is actually a very common thing that many people deal with in their everyday lives. Some people have it more extreme than others and it may affect their everyday routines. In those cases, I believe it is helpful to speak to someone and to find something you love that you can channel your anxiety into. If your anxiety is caused by a traumatic event in your life then please do not try to repress it. Repressing bad memories will only make things worse. Believe me, I have been there and I have close friends who have too. The best thing to do is to confront it and talk about the event no matter how hard it might be. For more severe cases, there is medication that can be prescribed and no one should feel ashamed about that.

There are so many different forms of anxiety such as post-traumatic stress disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, numerous phobias, social anxiety, and so forth. Some people don’t even realize how much their anxiety affects their everyday decisions and behaviors. If you find yourself constantly jumping into unhealthy relationships, have low self-esteem due to being overwhelmed by tasks at work or school, are afraid to be in social settings due to various scenarios in your head, turn to alcohol or drugs to calm yourself down or are constantly questioning yourself…then you may want to take a step back and think about why you are feeling the way you are and how you can respond in a way that does not make you more anxious than you already are. Responding to your anxiety in an unhealthy way only makes things worse when you should be trying to make things better. It is the same with stress and depression. People who feel overwhelmed are more prone to these behaviors and the pressures from society to be “perfect” do not make it any easier. Below, you will see a list of more efficient ways to deal with anxiety.

I consider myself an anxious person but more so in the way that I overthink situations and constantly question myself like most of us do. Instead of staring at your phones all day as you wait in anticipation for a text or instead of over practicing a routine for your tryout, you should find something else to focus your time on. For me, writing is what helps me get out my anxiety (surprise, surprise!!). For you, it may be going to the gym, learning a new recipe, or simply just surrounding yourself with friends to distract you. It is the healthiest way to deal with anxiety and other things, such as depression and stress. When you do something that makes you happy, you forget about everything else even if it is for just a moment and that helps for a healthier and more positive you!!

7 things I do to deal with anxiety:

  •  IDENTIFYING TRIGGERS: To me this is the most important part of dealing with anxiety. Sometimes the trigger is easily identifiable and is something silly like I mentioned above (waiting on a text, etc.). However, if you can’t identify the problem, it makes it so much harder to deal with it. You need to write down anything and everything that has ever bothered you (at least this helps me understand what caused my anxiety). Sometimes the things that trigger us are what we least expect. An issue that has been repressed in the back of your mind may set off an anxiety attack. Maybe it is something you never told anyone about. Think about what was bothering you that day you suddenly got anxious. Once you identify what triggered your anxiety, you can come up with more specific measures to deal with the problem.

 

  • SLEEP: If I can, I try to get enough sleep. Try to get at least eight hours of sleep if you can or set aside a twenty-minute nap during the day. But what happens if you are dealing with sleep anxiety or are prone to anxiety attacks? Then what? Well, I am someone who has suffered from anxiety attacks after going through traumatic events (loss of a friend, bad car accident, etc.). This is when I try to focus on my breathing and concentrate on taking deep breaths to calm me down. I then will make myself a sleepy time tea to get me in the mood to sleep. Sometimes I will play some relaxing music to ease my mind.

 

  • EXERCISE: This is something that is proven to be healthy physically and mentally. It can help to get out all of your frustration and clear your head.

 

  • PARTAKING IN A HOBBY I ENJOY: For me this may be writing or performing on stage. Like I mentioned before, not everyone enjoys the same things so your hobby might be reading, playing basketball, or playing guitar, etc.

 

 

  • STAY AWAY FROM TECHNOLOGY: When I am anxious I try to take a mental break from my phone, from television, and my computer. Sometimes when I am anxious I fall back into the trap of overthinking things and we both know Google and social media can only make things worse. Before you know it, you will start googling things like “Why am I anxious?” “Could ___ be causing my anxiety?” If anything, you are going to make yourself more anxious from the answers that you might see and more often than not you are going to convince yourself you have some rare disease. Google might tell you something you don’t want to hear and that is the last thing an anxious person needs to read. I also find that social media overwhelms me when I am anxious. Instead, if you want to socialize with people while your anxious, talk to a good friend about it that will help you calm down. Real interactions are always better during times like these (Just make sure the person you are talking to won’t judge you or make you feel bad about your anxiety. Make sure it is someone you can trust). I am a good secret keeper so if any of you want to shoot me an email, visit my contact page and I would be happy to listen and give you some advice specific to your situation!!

 

  • TAKE A WARM BATH: Hot showers are nice and all but nothing soothes me more than a nice bubble bath! I set the tone by dimming the lights, playing some peaceful music, lighting some candles, putting on a face mask, and of course filling my bathtub with bubbles and a relaxing bath bomb! If I’m feeling really fancy I will have a glass of wine with me too. What is more relaxing than that?!

 

What are some things you guys do to deal with anxiety? Do you have any tips? If so, comment below!